Thus far I have tried to stick to facts as emotionless as possible. Today I’ll deviate a little bit because maybe someone will read this and have some insight into how to turn things around.
I’m trying to be optimistic, but this is actually really difficult. Is that normal? I think Delilah and Mike are doing great, Bailey and I… not so much. I realize I may have a weird obsession with my dog… but one of my favorite sights in the world is Bailey’s face when she’s running real fast and excited. One of my favorite sounds is her paws coming up the steps to come get in bed for snuggle time. Now I just see her sulking around and the sound I hear the most is her whining because she’s in her crate. How do you get to the part where everyone loves each other and is happy?
What if we go through this and I lose my Bailey? I know she is nervous in new situations and isn’t super fond of strangers, but guess what? I love her the way she is and I think she’s a great dog.
What if Bailey harbors resentment against me/Mike for changing the rules on her? Or against Delilah? We’ve monitored their interactions so much, to keep Bailey from snapping at her, that now Bailey is always trying to avoid her. How can Bailey learn to love her?
We’ve been trying to do as much scent transferring as much as possible, to get Bailey used to her smell. We go on lots of short walks together. We keep them on the leash around each other in the house. We stop during the walk to just be around each other. We stand in the yard so they can be around each other (I sure wish the ground would dry up so the backyard isn’t so icky). When we’re in the living room together, I just don’t know what to DO other than sit there. Mike and I had kicked our sedentary lifestyles and now we’re moving backward! When we need to get things done, we have to put one or both dogs in their crate(s). I hate that the most I think. I get that we should watch their interactions unless we can actively supervise, but I feel awful about putting them in their crates while we’re here… especially since they’re sleeping in there too.
Oh and the sleeping went awful last night. At about 2 AM Bailey started whining, then whining louder and then pawing against the crate or slamming against it or something. We waited until she quieted down and then Mike & I finished out the night sleeping on the couch. Tonight we’ll try putting them in the bedroom..
Worst part is that Bailey has been so lethargic. Lethargic and confused and unsure. It upsets me to see Bailey upset. I am trying to keep my emotions to a minimum in front of the gals because emotions are a sign of weakness or something like that. But I always want to make things better and I feel powerless.
At what point do you reach out for help getting your dogs socialized with one another? Or is this totally normal? I am not blessed with the patience that Mike has. I want to play with my pups!
I would say that not a lot about this adoption has gone the way I expected, with the exception of how sweet Delilah is. The adoption meeting itself was a little ruff (hehe)… I felt a lot that we were being judged for Bailey’s terrified behavior based on one meeting with her. I also felt like they had a lot of expectations that maybe weren’t communicated clearly enough prior to the meeting. We were very impressed with the diligence of their adoption process, truly demonstrating how much they care about the environment into which they adopt their dogs. And even throughout the adoption meeting, we knew they had the dogs’ best interest at heart and they both seemed . We felt like we had to answer a lot of questions that were covered in the application – what kind of food Bailey eats, where she sleeps… if one of those was going to be a problem, I think we could have been told in advance. They did let us know to bring a certain type of collar and a leash for Delilah, so we got the normal kind of leash they had at PetSmart… if we needed a leather lead, you could have told us before we bought the other one. If you expected us to have a crate ready at home ready for her, maybe let us know that expectation and the dimensions needed. If you haven’t met a dog, it’s hard to know precisely what they need. Most importantly, I felt a lot of condescension toward the way we handle Bailey and it has left me unsettled since. It’s probably the same way people feel when others criticize the way they raise their kids (only that Bailey is a dog, not a child)… it hurts even though they may have your best interest in mind.
Daily totals:
Growl count- Bailey:2, Delilah:1
“What happened to her leg?”: 0
Walks: 1 separate, 1 wolfpack
Thing we learned about Delilah: she likes to watch people get out of cars, she has a BIG BARK, she will snuggle you so much.
Thing we learned about Bailey: her only issue with Delilah is when she gets in our faces. She’s getting better on the leash and with growling/barking at sounds outside every moment.
They are such beautiful dogs. I can see how very special the are.
I don’t know anything about the adoption agency and all these seemingly endless rules they have. It seems as though they may have created a very tense and stressful situation for you that may be caring over to the dogs.
This is just my one penny’s worth. Couldn’t you jst get back to your normal routine and give Delilah a chance to learn the routine rather than change your routine? Dogs are such creatures of habit. I’m sure all this is very unsettling to Bailey…especially not sleeping with her pack.
I don’t know…I’m just throwing this out there for whatever it’s worth. I think the way you’ve done things in the past has already proven to be successful and far less complicated!
It’s a treat getting to kow you and your delightful dogs! And I love each and every photo. They are very patient subjects!
Surroj dngnyou with calm and a good night’s sleep!
Sally and Happy Hannah
Ohhhh I love these pics too, it’s been great following your blog.
I have to admit, I have no real experience in this area. But others like Sally do, and also in our Discussion Forums so please visit and get lots of help there from folks who have some great insight into multi-dog households.
All I can say is that Delilah is so wonderful. There are a LOT of GSDs out there who don’t fit into packs that easily, she is a real gem and is so lucky to find you.
Don’t worry, things WILL get easier. I do recommend working with a good behaviorist or trainer though, it will make your life SO much easier. You can start your research with my friends at MySmartPuppy.com, an awesome group of trainers and behaviorists who have helped us tremendously with our own Wyatt Ray.
Keep us posted!
I just briefly looked at your other entries, and realized this has only been a few days, right?
Honestly, if you have the two of them in the same place enough to get them both in the same frame when taking a picture…I’d say you are doing okay 😀
My Sadie, who is now our older dog, but once was the younger dog ;-), is notoriously difficult. And anti-social. Not aggressive…just not wanting other people all up in her schnitzel. (And by people, I mean dogs)
There was a long adjustment period with Sam (our last dog), then one with the newest cat, again when Sam died, and again with the puppy. And it is normal to go through periods of “MOM. I HATE YOU FOR RUINING MY LIFE.”
If i had a nickle for every time I thought “OMG, soandso will never be the same again” whenever we brought a new animal home…well, I’d have a lot of nickles. 😀
Time, patience, and consistency will help. Especially if they are doing fine now–and like I said, they seem to be doing A-OK
I agree with Sally–make Delilah fit into YOUR life. Whenever we bring someone new home (<–which makes us sound like swingers… :p)), sure, interactions are supervised, and there is some disruption in routine, and "bad" behaviour–i.e. dangerous and or aggressive actions–is not tolerated, but basically, everyone else keeps on keeping on, and newbie has to acclimate.
There are concessions and some changes, obviously, but in general…we avoid upheaval as much as possible.
Where does bailey normally sleep? Let her sleep there. Crate Delilah elsewhere. What does Bailey normally do when you're out and about? Let her do that. Crate Delilah elsewhere, or otherwise confine her. Be firm, be consistent, and continue gradually give them "together" and "alone" time.
Dogs aren't people, as much as we'd like to think of them as "one of us." They are dogs. They think like, behave like, and see the world like dogs.
You haven't "lost" Bailey–she hasn't gone anywhere. She's just trying to decide who this new pack member is, whether they ARE , in fact, a member of the pack–or just a transient, and then deciding what the pecking order will be (and they WILL figure it out…and it may change over time). It's a lot to have tumbling around in their brains.
I would also stop obsessing over the growls…there will be growls. Lots of them. There may be snapping and snarling. Might be humping, too. That's how dogs work it out. There is a pecking order, and defined roles, and they need to establish it. The vast majority of the time, they are remarkably self-regulating. (Are some dogs dog aggressive? YES. But if both of these two seems to be either dog-friendly or dog-ignoring, chances are they will be fine eventually when they get to know each other).
I'm not saying throw caution to the wind and lock them in a cage match to duke it out with reckless abandon… but at some point, you can gradually let them be together off lead (maybe in the back yard, conditions be damned, or some other enclosed, more neutral area).
Really, seriously, for day 4 or so? I'd say you are way ahead of the game in getting two adult dogs together. 🙂 Relax, and let them be more dog…and you will do wonderfully 🙂